The Adventures of Sack and Foot
Steven Grassel

Sack and Foot talk amongst themselves. Sack orients to the ground like a sack, as does Foot, but not like a sack, like a foot.

"Some nice conversation today," says Foot.

"That's what they'll say," says Sack.

Sack tells Foot he likes Foot's sock.

"I admire your sock," says Sack.

"That's nice of you," says Foot.

Sack wonders what Foot is trying to hide. Why the new sock? Why today? Is something wrong with Foot?

"It's a nice color on you," says Sack.

"That's nice of you," says Foot.

Sack is tired. Before coming to meet Foot, Sack did not put anything inside. Sack stayed up late soaking in a vat of liquid. When Sack dampens itself, sleep comes easier.

"What is wrong with you today?" says Foot.

"I'm just not my best sack today," says Sack.

"That's for sure," says Foot.

Foot pretends not to notice Sack's musty stink. That is what Foot can do for Sack.

You might be wondering whether Sack has a face. Since Sack talks, you must have imagined Sack with a mouth. You know that Sack can move around the world, so you must have imagined Sack's eyes, white then color then black.

But let me ask you a question: does a sack have a face?

You might also be wondering about Foot's face, but I think that question has already been addressed.

Sack wears sunglasses.

"Great sunglasses," says Foot.

"Do you think so?" says Sack. "Are you just complimenting them because I don't normally wear sunglasses?"

"Great sunglasses," says Foot.

Sack does not remove the sunglasses, but feels uncomfortable. Sack wonders how it could remove them.

Sack imagines itself with arms that remove the sunglasses.

"Nice arms," says Foot.

The factory where Sack was manufactured is still in operation. In addition to sacks, the factory made ball gowns, tracksuits, and designer tees. Sack came down the conveyor belt meant for sacks, where it received stitching. Sack feels a vague connection to the other sacks in the world, but does not see other sacks very often. The sacks moved along the same conveyor belt, had the same factory hands make sure they were acceptable sacks. Sack took that approval out into the world.

Foot wears its happiness like a sock.

"You are practically glowing," says Sack.

"Thank you for noticing."

"What's your secret?"

"I don't know. Today is better than many of the previous days."

"Is some environmental condition making you practically glow?"

"That must be it, an environmental condition."

"Do you know which one, so that I can respond as well?"

"Take in all the conditions. That will fix you right up."

"Ok," says Sack. "This is helping."

Sack is not yet practically glowing but knows it will soon acquire a practical glow.

You might be wondering how Sack and Foot met. Well, it's kind of a funny story. But now that you know it's a funny story, do I really have to go through the motions of recounting it? Would it make it any less ridiculous that a sack and a foot are together, hanging out and talking? Even after this, you probably think that I should tell the quirky Sack and Foot origin story. Whatever, here I go.

"Hey, you're not a foot, you're a sack," said Foot.

"I don't think I'm a foot," said Sack.

"Let's be friends," said Foot.

The two things stayed in close proximity as the audience awwwed and cheered.

Where are Foot and Sack? You might want to know about Foot and Sack's position in the world. Are they in a vacant lot? That seems like an appropriate place. Maybe you place Foot and Sack in a field, where they can feel the grass growing beneath them. I can allow you to imagine Foot and Sack in a field or a vacant lot. Both of those places seem fine.

Some places you shouldn't imagine Foot and Sack? Any place with a name would be inappropriate. Foot and Sack should not be in Portland, Oregon. Foot and Sack should not be in Whole Foods. If you place Foot and Sack in any place that can have all its details recalled, you will kill Foot and Sack.

Don't kill Foot and Sack. That would be terrible.

Foot brings a pet rock to show Sack.

"Look at this," says Foot.

"What do you do with it?"

"Look at it," says Foot. "I like how the eyes google."

Sack sees the fake pupils slide back and forth.

"It looks alive," says Sack.

"It sure does," says Foot.

Sack wonders when it will ask Foot to climb inside. Recently, Sack has understood the space inside as foot-sized. When the moment is right, Sack will ask Foot to climb inside. Foot will spread its toes inside and Sack will feel Foot's movements.

Foot and Sack are in front of a pyramid of bell peppers in Whole Foods in Portland, Oregon.

"We don't belong here," says Sack.

"What color pepper should we buy?" says Foot.

Foot and Sack haven't done much. If you have found any sort of connection to Foot and Sack, I'm happy for you. Connecting to characters in stories gives those stories value. Maybe you will look at foots differently. Maybe you will look at sacks and wonder what's inside. Or, you will look at a foot and feel the way you always have. You will look at a foot and say, "Oh, I am seeing a foot. That's a foot down there." Seems reasonable. A foot is a foot. A sack is a sack.

Foot and Sack wave good-bye. They imagine arms, use those imagined arms to wave. Foot and Sack wave at one another. Foot and Sack wave at you.

"Remember me fondly," says Foot.

"Will you climb inside?" says Sack.

"This is an inappropriate time to ask that question, with everyone here," says Foot.

"Sorry," says Sack.

You can wonder if Foot and Sack will ever see each other again. That is a fine thing to wonder.

Steven Grassel lives in Brooklyn.

Detail of art on main page courtesy of NOIR.

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