When your new mother in her nightdress and head scarf-wrapped hair wakes you up and puts her baby in your arms, hold it the same way you hold your shifwanani. Your doll. Let the baby lie on its back while on your lap or cradle it with your arms. Be careful to support its fragile neck. Listen to your new mother, the baby's mother, tell you where the nappies are and what to give the baby when it needs feeding. Tell her that you will remember to splash milk on the back of your palm to confirm that it's not too hot before popping the bottle nipple in her baby's mouth.

Greet yourself, Vushiele. Good morning.
 
After the baby's mother has gone to work, and you have locked yourself inside the house, play with the baby just as if it is your shifwanani. Leave your shifwanani in your bed. Keep the baby swaddled in a shawl or blanket if it is cold. Talk to the baby. Sing to the baby. When the baby is happy, set it down on the special baby blanket or mat so that it does not get too attached to always being in your arms. When you change the baby, smile at it even if its bottom is stinky and sticky. Be careful to wipe and dry the baby's bottom properly and to wrap the used nappy before tossing it in the bucket for dirty nappies.
 
When the baby is ready to sleep, sing one of your old nursery rhymes. Sing the lullaby your mother taught you to sing to your shifwanani, 'Ndolo mbombela mwana...' You may walk back and forth, or in circles, but inside the house, with the baby if you want. Do not let it get accustomed to being lulled this way. Tiptoe with the baby to its cot in its mother's bedroom. Set the baby down gently. Cover the baby with a baby blanket and stand by the cot for a few minutes to make sure it is sleeping comfortably. Draw the curtains if there is too much sunshine coming in. Tiptoe out of the room.
 
You may watch the television and eat while the baby is sleeping only if you have done all the chores. Reheat the food the baby's mother set aside for you or just eat it like that so that you won't have so many dishes to wash afterwards. Do not dwell on your 9-year-old friends, in class without you. Using a fountain pen for the first time, learning to read books without pictures. Read your new mother's magazines. Watch the television at the lowest volume possible so that you do not miss hearing the baby when it wakes up. You may also bathe quickly and use the toilet while the baby is asleep. Put on fresh clothes, brush your teeth, comb your hair, and make yourself presentable even though you are going nowhere. Smile at the mirror, your former mother's reflection smiles back.

Be ready for when you will go somewhere.
 
When the baby wakes up, repeat everything you did but not in the same order. You might need to change the baby first, or feed it first. The baby will tell you somehow. Never forget to gently burp the baby after feeding it. An unburped baby will not be comfortable and might bother you with more crying or worse; vomit out all the milk you fed it. Change the baby's clothes—just as you change your shifwanani's clothes which your mother gave you—when they are stained with food or wet and dirtied with baby excretions. If the baby's constant crying irritates you, don't pinch the baby or shout at it. Do not cry, understand, like you, the baby just wants its mother. At night, when everyone, even the baby, is asleep in their beds, you may cry. Always cry under your blanket with your shifwanani.
 
When the baby's mother returns from work, greet her tired face and put the baby in her tired arms. Tell her the baby is fine and if it is not fine, tell her this also. Share the details of the day except how many television shows you watched. Go to bed.

Or do not go to bed.

Get up. Get the things that belong to you. Leave your shifwanani, the baby will hold it for you. Put on your shoes and get out of this house where you live. It is not your home. Run or walk. Your mother did not birth you for this.

Tonight you are under the points of the stars. Tonight you are going somewhere.



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Detail of painting on main page by Michael Musyoka.





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